7. Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Okay, can I just say, before I get started, that the assignment above drives me batty? The preposition at the end of the sentence, for starters! Why would the originator do that? It muddles the whole question, and I’m not sure if it means someone who, generally speaking, has made my life worth the living, or someone for whom I have lived my life. Do you see the muddle? Grrr…….

Be that as it may, here is how I choose to answer:

I know I’m supposed to say something like my husband, or kids, or pretty much any close family member or friend. Or, maybe I’m supposed to say Jesus. All of these things are true. I mean, I love my family, and seriously, I’d do just about anything for them. I love living my life in loving servanthood to them (that sounded better in my head than it does in print, but I mean it in the best way possible). I love my Savior. He understands me like no one else, primarily because he knows me better than anyone else. Better than I know myself. I love them, and cannot fathom a life lived without them. Each one holds, impossible as it seems, my whole heart, and I would be incomplete without my loves.

yet…

Instead I will say my friend, whom I affectionately call the Heathen. His real name is Justin. When we first befriended each other, he seemed very much a rebel, a dangerous element, maybe even, a little, unsavory. Definitely not friend-material for a staid matron like me. Yet I liked his sweet smile, and his shy demeanor (around me) and thought that perhaps he is just an overgrown little boy. For his part (and this doesn’t speak well of him, but it gets better) he says he thought I was ‘hot’ and he enjoyed flirting with me (which, I know, doesn’t speak well of me, either). And, maybe, he hoped that fantasies do sometimes come true. They didn’t.

Flirtation gave way to conversation and I understood that the person beneath the persona was much more the little boy than the rebel. He was–is–searching for a home. Constantly restless, he says he never really feels as though he fits in anywhere he is. This makes me a little sad. But I think it also explains why he befriended me. I have been known to settle others. I feel it in their energy. And I feel them calm in my presence.

My God has flooded me with love, so much that I can only hope to let the excess run through me and over others. The Heathen is looking for God. He isn’t even sure God exists, but God is certain of the Heathen, and is lovingly calling him to Himself. And so, in a roundabout way, I have lived for the Heathen. If he has known any of the love of Christ through me, it is worth it to have been friends.

 

 

 

 

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