Thirty-one day challenge. These are hard questions, meant to make one dig deep and write honestly even through the difficulty. My days will be by no means consecutive. I will be honest, but it will take its toll and therefore I must take my time.
Day 1- something you hate about yourself.
Today, this week, this is easy. I hate that I care too much for people. Often for people who don’t care as much – or at all – in return. God has gifted me with a heart that breaks easily- if one aches, I will ache alongside one. I will hold one’s hand and hurt as if it were my own. This care is often appreciated, but just as often is carelessly tossed aside.
God will lay on my heart certain people. I cannot seem to pick and choose, though if I could I would certainly not choose some of these souls! Once they are laid on my heart, they are ‘mine’. I will pray for them, will love them, and will always be there. Even when our friendship’s season is done. I find this annoying at times, downright painful at others. Because I know that I care more. It hurts to be the one who cares more.
I have thought about how I can care less. How do I guard myself against this kind of hurt? And the only answer I come up with is to not be myself anymore. Too difficult. Besides, I sometimes love this thing about me, too – which is the next day’s post.